Monday, January 19, 2015

Kraft Goes Cheap: Murders Cadbury Creme Egg

cadbury creme eggs 5 in a box
Photo Credit: Anthony Devlin
It's a tale older than time itself or at least since the first corporation was formed. A business offers a product or service to the public. The public supports the concept by making purchases regularly. The business then rewards the public's loyalty by taking everything they love about the product and rending it to inedible, unpalatable ash with a higher markup.

This has become the expected norm over time, and for the most part we have become increasingly complacent. Naturally, businesses must make a profit to survive. Surely we cannot villainize them for adhering to the fundamental laws of economics and free trade in the name of pleasing shareholders.  We can choose to fight such brazen actions, not with physical violence, but with our dollars. The problem is that we won't win...

 Because candy is for children. And children don't care. 

How many times have you taken a trip down memory lane and swallowed a bite of your favorite childhood cereal or candy or other tasty treat only to go, "Ick! This doesn't taste as good as I remember." Feed it to a child nearby, and they're as happy as little larks in springtime.

You're not crazy. It really doesn't taste as good. They just have no reference point as you or I do, so they are happy all the same. And someday, they too will miss the taste of their favorite childhood yummies as they munch on soylent green or whatever it is that Monsanto has managed to replace food with by then.

It's because they WANT you to know, Jennifer. They're laughing at your pain.

So the major candy controversy at the moment (aside from the fact that Easter candy is out in January) is that in the UK, Mondelez, which used to be known publicly as good ol' Kraft Foods over there, has changed the Cadbury Crème Egg recipe. Uh oh! No more dairy milk! The company will start using some sort of "standard cocoa mix" recipe in its place.

Kraft could care less. America is Hershey's Problem

A lot of Americans breathed a sigh of relief as it was noted that the U.S. version would not be affected. That is until they discovered that their version has been made with powdered milk for quite some time now. The significance of this fact is currently in question, but L.V. Anderson does a delightful job of explaining just how much dairy milk has to do with the original British Cadbury Crème Egg.

cadbury creme egg smaller?
cheep cheep, little bird... cheap cheap indeed

In any case, the iconic candy has not been as good for some time now. It's just something we'll have to accept as companies continue to go on the cheap. Easter candy may be ruined for the grown-ups, but the children will still enjoy their high-fructose-chemical-laden-joy-joy-bombs this year. After all, precious memories are what matter most. How could we ever laugh about what they don't understand without them?


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